For the Last Time, I am not Gay!
by Wolfy Nightstreaker
Summary: Magneto finds out that about the X-Men fandom and decides to do see just how popular X-Men is. The only problem is he find  and some rather graphic stories about him and Charles. Crack fic! Slight OOCness.
1. Chapter 1

Just had this idea when I saw all the Xavier and Magneto lemons and I just couldn't resist tormenting Magneto a lil bit. lol. Let the torture begin!

**For the Last Time, I am not Gay!**

Eric was in awe over how much information was on the internet about them. Top secret stuff that only an elite few knew about. It just wasn't every day you found out you were famous without knowing it.

Sure the series was called "X-Men" after Charles' team and had him featured as a villain. But everybody knew who Eric Lehnsherr, or Magneto, was and his story. Eric was surprised at the amount of people sympathizing with him. It almost made him want to spare the human race, almost.

"If you think that's awesome then you should check out fanfiction," a female voice told him. Eric looked back toward the woman whose computer he was using. She had demanded to be called Wolfy, a nickname her school friends gave her, and absolutely refused to give her real name. So he was stuck calling the woman by the childish nickname.

"Why? What's on there?" he asked, typing in the website.

Wolfy gave him a coy smile, one that gave him the distinct impression that whatever he found on the website won't be pleasant. "Oh nothin' really, just some story's written by people who loved the X-Men series. It's all original work, based on nothin' but the writter's imagination."

Eric frown, it didn't sound too bad. Worst thing he could find on there would be him dying some horrible death by some loser who didn't understand Eric's unique point of view.

Wolfy leaned down on the desk as the fanfiction homepage pulled up. "Okay, go to Movies... Scroll down... Click on X-Men Movie, and there you go all the stories you can find on just the X-Men Movies. There's more under Cartoons."

Eric couldn't believe all the stories that people wrote about their story. The amount was easily into the tens of thousands. He quickly figured out the page filter and set it to search for him.

When that was done he scanned a few stories about him that made him smile, that is until he reached one in particular. "What is this?" He demanded.

"You mean this one?" Wolfy said in a bored voice, pointing at the offending story, with the edges of her lips curling into a smile. "Oh it's nothin' really, just you having sex with Professor X. You see a lot of those."

Eric gaped at the girl, "There's _more_!"

Wolfy shrugged nonchalantly, "Well yeah. With a fandom this big if one person has wrote about say you and Professor X having sex then there is obviously more. Personally I've never read one, but it seems to be a popular pairing."

"It's popular?" Eric asked in shock

"You know now that I think about it I wonder how they have you and the Professor do it. You know with him being dead from the waist down."

"Enough!" Eric cringed.

"I bet they set it to before he got paralyzed! That would make a lot of sense since the number of fics about you and the Professor went up when X-Men First Class came out. I wonder who's the girl in the relationship? You got brute force on your side but the Professor can mind rape you. Ooo! I bet some of the fics have you and Professor X do it mentally."

At that Eric could stand no more and finally shouted, slamming his hands on the desk, "That enough!" Metal objects began floating in the air finally snapping Wolfy's attention back to her guest.

Wolfy stopped, sparing Eric from anymore talks that might make him go insane. Eric panted, trying to calm himself down as object floated back down to their original place.

"I am not gay." Eric said firmly.

Wolfy paused and stared at him for a moment, "Really?"

"Yes!" He growled.

Wolfy's blue eyes looked at him closely, "Are you sure?"

"YES!" How could he not be.

"Positive?"

"For the last time, I AM NOT GAY!" Eric finally yelled at her.

She frowned at him a bit, "Your this old and you haven't come out of the closet yet?" Eric glared at her and she threw her hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine. Your nooot gaaay," Wolfy said rolling her eyes at him.

Eric groaned. She doesn't believe him.

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You know this was suppose to be a one shot but I couldn't resist ending it there. And yes Wolfy is suppose to be me and yes actually my high school friends did call me Wolfy a few times. But anyway please leave comments!


	2. Chapter 2

Finally the last part of what was suppose to be a oneshot. lol poor Eric. He gets two chapters of torment.

**For the Last Time, I am not Gay!**

"So you _don't_ have a giant gay crush for the Professor." Wolfy said cocking an eyebrow.

Eric took a deep breath to help him regain calm, "I _do not_ have a giant gay crush on Charles."

Wolfy sighed and plopped down in a nearby chair, frowning.

Eric put his head in his hand and almost grudgingly asked, "Why does everyone think I'm gay."

"They don't _just_ think you're gay. They think you're gay for Professor X." Wolfy say nonchalantly. Eric glared at her again and she sighed, finally answering his question. "You two are like perfect together. You're like fire and ice, yin and yang, good and evil (Eric rolled his eyes at that one). You get what I'm saying?"

"But I'm not gay!" Eric said almost tiredly.

"I believe we're going backwards."

Eric gestured toward the computer screen angrily. "How can they write stuff like _that_ when I'm not even _gay_?"

Wolfy twirled a finger in her hair, "Easy, they open up Microsoft Word and-"

"Wolfy," Eric said threateningly.

"Sorry, sorry," Wolfy rolled her eyes.

Eric turned toward the computer with a new found determination, "How do I get rid of these?"

"You can't. The person who wrote it has to take it off."

Eric ground his teeth. "I am not gay."

Wolfy rolled her eyes again, for the millionth time that day, with a sigh. "Oh boy, here we go again."

"How can they think I'm gay?"

"I believe I already answered that."

"I am as straight as a straight man can be."

Wolfy stiffled a laugh. Eric whipped his head in her direction and scowled at her. "Go tell that to your fans."

Eric rose from the computer chair, "I think I will."

"I know I didn't laugh when you first said you were straight, but don't be surprised if other people aren't as curteous as me." Wolfy warned.

"I'll make them believe." Eric said ominously.

Wolfy's eyebrows rose in disbelief, "Well if you're going to do that you might want to take off the cape. It doesn't exactly help your case"

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And that my friends is my prediction of what Magneto would do if he found fanfiction. XD Please leave comments.


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